brendon Dowley

A story of power based on true life events

In my life I have had a deep and winding relationship with power.

Little did I know how important this theme would be the more I aged.

And how when i used my higher awakened mind based on the conditioning I still had in my flesh, emotions and bones my pain would increase exponentially in order to teach me what I needed to know.

I write here this morning , I wake up challenged every single day for over 2 years now. More issues than not.

This is because I chose to take full responsibility for my life and what I had accumulated, collected, seen, absorbed and allowed into my life , mind, body and field.

I woke up from a grey existence and the divine heavens penetrated my body and gave me sight.

Todays example is a lifelong issue Im seeing but a long term problem that sits very deep in my psyche about whats okay and whats not.

I began embracing my darkside after a major grief moment of loss. I’d had adult full life level deaths around me and divorce.

I had the promise and potential of having a house, children and the dream I still hold deep inside when i was 23, I chose myself against the isolation of the Polish winter I realised I could not stay there, I was not having enough conversations and that is part of how i love, a big part, an essential part.

Words and expression of the voice have been a big fertile training ground for me over the years.

In highschool I would do my wild crazy things as I opened my vents to express who i truly was, all that hidden forbidden energy and unconfined energy wanting to become into form.

The masculine ideals, and the artistic frameworks and techniques speak to this a bit in that my mind and soul has a creative power.

My soul Ive found is as much wild, floral, natural as it is a primary nature. 

That primary nature speaks to magic, a layer of consciousness that is fundamental to life on earth and humanity.

Often children and those who value or are lucky enough still hold this state, but for children its a stage of life.

True evolution in my eyes has to include what came before it, that means the life experiences, the bodies, the lessons, the mistakes, the states and stages. 

When one person truly integrates what they have been through and accumulated they end up with a lot to look at and deal with.

So often I have avoided and bypassed, surpassed ,dissociated from the intensity and lessons that were pleading to be learned. 

I agree The very same energy that I took into downfall is the same energy that I can use to build, create rise and share from.

The order matters, identity here becomes a very real story and when I got caught up in it, misunderstood and just dared to go with something I created, I got many experiences that are now powerful reminders of what is possible in this life, and the very real hardship and hurt that can ensue from undertaking things without organisation and containment. 

This containment thing, this has taken me about 37 years to even understand, I am so grateful for the tool being spoken to, to the phenomena being named. That, is a human collective wisdom story and technology worth embracing. 

Its more simple than it sounds, but because I did so much soul searching, world travel, risky business, took myself and body into dangerous situations and persevered, because i chose to keep going I now have true wealth of experience. 

The choice now is about how do i embrace all that I am again without hitting the same mistaken areas I once did.

This is a key and crucial self reflection choice that is different than just going out there and doing the things.

That is what ive learnt along the way, perhaps to the detriment of flow but I want it to be clear that my choices are my choices and my decisions are my decisions.

Im willing to admit my mistakes and higher and lower levels as that is the only way my authentic integration can take place and I can live in the dream or version of myself that can weather many influences yet still hold true.

I build structures every few years, entire literary, inspired, new downloads or shakti rich flow throughs, its natural and I let my speedy touch typing skills let through the automatic writing and streams of thought. 

There are different streams and I have learnt to channel them.

Whether this is a brain development from years of writing, and the fact I told you I love through language as well as touch.

Some places only can be met with the same dimensional focus.

Think about multiple intelligences theory, that we have more than one type of intelligence in each of us. Musical, kinaesthetic, literary, mathematic and so on.

Containment exists inside grammar and language just as much as it does in thought and dance. To contain my energy does not reduce me. Like creatives know, to contain a creative force is to give it a focus. 

I am the one to choose that focus. And so I must respect that in other creators. We exist whether you like to name it or empower us or not.

Fabricated stories, myths and social architecture are built from what we provide – the essential ingredients for a life to happen.

No wonder it feels so tormented as an artist in that old timers manipulation where they puppeteer an artist into a starving artist.

There is a ugly truth here, artists are creatives and some are not. Some artists copy their way through it is more like a collage and organisation of ideas than being based on an original creative energy. 

This is key to understand, and respect, it does not make someone who naturally gravitates to that to be less than. I write that to exhibit the value of a creator and why creative communities are so important.

Still, without material, experiences, life, challenge, hardship, some things would never be made.

So look at the material world, the paintings, the buildings, the pavement you walk on, the human constructed world that holds and supports and contains you.

Where you live has a direct impact on your life, how you choose to deal with that and at what level you are willing to face it will have an effect.

Surrender is not the same as submitting. Both are giving your power away, if I submit to another man or person Id need it to be in a consensual aware framework and agreement.
Without that, it is in the dark and grey area rich for manipulation, exploitation, dictation of more suffering and personal or organisation gain at the cost of the one submitting, whether they are aware or not.

We sell ourselves to connect to an opportunity, sometimes we get so overtaken that we are engrossed in others dreams and nightmares. 

Its important for me to distinguish the difference to liberate any of you who , like me, need to see through and are forced to see through those forces and conditions that continue to violate our peace.

On my travels since 22 I had a lot of experiences, i met a lot of different people. I let a lot of different emotions thoughts and my world view expand, it had to, the spiritual awakening moment mentioned earlier had happened 6 months before, words have an effect, and the state of our minds or lives and bodies will then dictate purely by setup what comes next.

I do value opening up to the divine. 

I do value the earth that supports and feeds and nourishes us day and night.

I do love to meet people and explore interpersonal relationships.

I do appreciate stimulating, diverse and expansive conversations. 

I do a lot.

Ive done a lot. 

Ive lived a lot.

Ive also been hurt a lot, healed a lot, been faced with uncomfortable truths.

Ive met with death in others and my own.

Ive taken an identity to its extreme, at cost. 

Ive allowed the theatrics to be in my life.

Theatre allows for Drama, as a Art its includes techniques, tools roles, for ideal creative narratives and expression to take place.

It has a place, it is contained because it is held and accepted but the greater world, in fact its celebrated and rewarded.

Ive always wanted to do many things, and been quite open to trying different things.

Ive sampled and experimented and ive come to a time in my life where Im taking a halt. 

Im holding on, because I deserve it, because I want the reward , payout or compensation from what I have paid in experience, time, suffering and just my participation.

The issue today I want to share on is simple, after going around the world , which in some cases was quite easy, to move travel and explore the mind and experiences without attachment to where i had come from. With distance, with more choices.

I really had so many amazing adventures, and deep long times in my life where I was connected in tribal groups, nomadic, work roles, schools, all helping me with an education we will put it today.

Ive written journals since 21-22. I am 37 in chronological age – chronos is the titan in greek myth known as Time. Or Saturn, either way He came before and was father to the ones we know as Zues, Hades and Neptune. 

The planets and stars about our heads are there for everyone. 

When we are held in caves or buildings or city complexes against out will, we are limited to what we can see and access directly. 

For those of you who like direct access to nature, big massive limitless nature some areas in the world will cause a greater interior conflict which can persist and come out as projected negativity.

Its natural for a growing human to open their minds, and they should. Some places herald principles and cultures that welcome this expansion, I imagine most do, that said many are very conditional in how that is acceptable. Or at least were.

In the West Scientific thought, Industry, Power from Above perspectives, delegating and manipulation were the mechanisms for change and progress.

We can only healthily go as far as we can go.

The cost of progress on a macro scale, with rapid technological evolution in the metals and computing we now have is here firstly. But it also speaks to a separation, perhaps even a discarding.

Not all who created computers are in good health, not all who create things are in good health and some are swallowed up by the abysmal and shadow aspects of what is here for us all.

We fear, we really do, we have existential fears, collectively, that can only be met with the love and pathways that humans have inside our technology between us. 

Its hard to explain but human to human relationships are a technology to come into communion has existed forever. 

The connection of a mind to a greater space and the universe and beyond, is a pathway to inspiration and higher activity. 

The connection of a human mind to another human mind and to the collective human mind, makes sense to say are talking to each other in that space. Beyond words even.

The connection to nature we have, is then not only that of our bodies, but our minds. We all have emotions – you do I do.

When we cancel or erase and use this negative actions, and decide against a entire dimension that exists we sever something sacred, and our connection to it.

What is a basic fundamental reality, can be bypassed by an individual , but the cost of that is a lot higher than you might dare to admit.

if you have undertaken that, like I have, at times you will have found yourself in mental places or phenomena that dont make sense or we now need to make meaning of it.

So we begin to build maps to the territory or scapes we have visited.

At this stage in my life I love to be in different dimension, It feels fulsome to both feel and sense things in a physical body and its engaging and fulfilling to me to think about that too.

My emotional labyrinth is the place Ive needed to acknowledge the most, and that is why i have been drawn to relationships so often.

My mind and personal development has also been important, and as I speak to you now , from a place of I am me, and I own that, I own and express my true voice, because i dared to exercise it until its stable enough. 

I do it in writing, but when i hold others in my mind and heart the voice is different, my voice is different. 

To express, claim, contain my voice therefore is the structural choices ive made and continue to be challenged by to be heard.

It is a basic human need to be seen, heard and felt. These are senses we attribute of a body.

Who I am is not only a body, in fact who I am is a Self, and to varying degrees over time,experience and journalling reflections I have found that there are parts that are directing my behaviour and actions which have impact and influence on others and their lives and minds and states , that were not me or mine.
I have begun building a Self clarification process which comes based on the natural and active findings and discoveries ive come across.

Mining therefore is a simple part of understanding who I am whilst reclaiming my body and life from whatever forces, conditions that have been dictating, driving or purely holding me in infancy.

A maturing Self is not the same as a maturing mind, or body, but they have direct relativity and perhaps a Self can not exist without the body.

There is so so much more to this that I could go into but won’t because Im hungry and want my original point to be addressed. 

We can express and articulate our feelings, thoughts and at times until exhaustion, if its not giving you energy back its not worth it. But can you perceive energy?

Do you know the different types, can you surrender to feel and sense what is incoming or are you blocking that which is here for you. 

Thats control, and it can become an issue when we let fear move our lives, wet new give away our power of consent to other peoples agendas they may or may not work for us and our best version.

In fact we give away and surrender to some man or human in illness, with a mind that is sick and represents that or a culture, society or place of sharing that has just had its time. Its old.

Oldness isnt the same as a maturation. Oldness is soon to die, it holds on in anyone, it is the grey existence i had and was all over my life at 18 19 20 21.

Thats a very young age to be not being engaged or fulfilled. Many younger.

Il tell you here, it didnt give me long term fulfilment to take pleasure by chemical means or to work for others when my dream was to be a professional sportsperson, a basketball race car driver and entrepreneur. I never did those things. It was a great assault on my primary inspirations to let the world take me where it went. And i did, i submitted again and again, I submitted applications and gave my power into others organisations. I am not in regret. 

I am grateful I did each and every one of those. They taught me each something. 

When the senses started to fire that this was not okay anymore, I had to choose something else. 

Without a clear mind, but a sense saying no, I listened.

What looked like illness to others and in some cases was and others wasnt, was an energy or mind and self trying to live life on his own terms, a daring move in desperate situations.

The circumstance are not the same as situations, and some people will cover your life with their own metrics and minds that have may have merit in some areas but greatly devastate your own body and life if you allow it to, but like the mind and minds do, we must build our own in order to protect our Selfs interests.

Hurt begets hurt so be careful, if its truely response to the hardship then let it happen, if its based in reaction or repression , over active or over passively letting some other forces, or minds, or peoples needs and agendas move you, if you are so naive to believe in others that are telling you what to do and it doesnt compute on a high enough level then say no thankyou, in your mind, that is where it all is happening, another human being is now acting and using and sometimes misusing and abusing their power of mind on your life. 

Even the ones who seem to have your best interests at heart, may actually be getting something transactionally from you your not aware of or are unwilling to admit.

The exchanges are okay.

Its okay to want for and allow in certain areas if theres stuff you need but sense shame, humiliation, guilt or would otherwise feel bad about if you judged or others judged you for getting those needs and desires met.

But, too, when things have had their time, its worth checking in on how you feel about someone and their actions.

Its important to be able to have thoughts about another individual, group, experience, situations – even if they bring up very difficult feelings, its okay to become aware of the negative and positive things we experience in our bodies and senses in our relationships.

Its okay to explore and experiment and its also then important to check in, to see what we have and what happened.

We become our own abuser when we allow others to treat us less than we truly are.

We are here to be all that we are so others are also having darker expression and projections they need to have, to have a full experience.

But that does not mean you need to embrace their projections as your own , or even allow and accept. 

This shadow material is what we choose to enter in relationship with, whether we own our place in it, or own it ourselves. Sometimes we take on and own something that is not ours.

We might take on someone else point of view to build our world view but get lost in having our own point of view. We collect and gather perspectives then get caught in oppinions and dont consider that the other might be wrong or how we actually stand with this. We need to sit with things to get to know them.

So its okay to go out and come home and figure it out then shift and change.

What you do inside yourself will directly inter connect, bond , impact and relay with the outer world. 

So be careful what you ‘eat’, if you consume negative media, or tv and are not having a active aware reflection you will have negative media in your mind, and that will move you towards certain actions and you will hold behaviours .
I hold behaviours and to change them takes effort, it takes time, energy and its more worthwhile to build good habits that serve me and the life that is personally engaging, personally fulfilling and mutually fulfilling and engaging.

An old relationship is one that has begun to reach a sense of aged, its not matured just because it had time, in someways yes it is, but the ingredients matter. And if I am the primary one continually saying yes to another self and life but it hurts me in some way, then its worthwhile having a look at. 

The hard part is being fair to yourself and them, and doing it justice based on the value its accrued over time.

Existing relationships therefore exist, they are, and if we want to cease them on the whole thats a major huge decision.

What im talking about here is more about the evaluation process a individual needs to do in order to continue evolving and moving on without getting blocked, or drained or leaked.

Some relationships work for us for reasons we are unwilling to admit, but if we can get there in our own minds and let that awareness in, it will of course change our lives and our relationships, but you have a part in this to play.

The level of how much you want to do that and how you do that will be directly related to your needs and wants whether you know, are aware or not.

So to be empowered in your decisions is to let the possibilities in, that means as well, that once you let in more, you will have more to deal with.

Ignorance is bliss for some, thats not the whole story, bliss and ecstasy can be found in conscious heights and its more fulfilling to build a life into that then to have the unconscious habits to fulfill those needs when it comes at a entropic cost to others and other areas of your life.

If it takes all this resource , and even if your willing to trade this for that, its still makes sense for you to pause and think about how this could be a win win win which is syntropic which means that it adds value to all involved, its not zero sum, its not negative sum its positive sum if you like to think about it that way.

My relationships today that have been built since my teens represent a level of emotional, physical and mental development like all of ours.

Some have stayed some have gone, some who stayed fill a specific role and value we need. To be honest withourselves about this has been hard for me.

Its felt like betrayal or beneath me. But the more peace I actually have in my body and life is directly related to how much I allow myself to feel and be aware of it, and to be true to myself means to see it as it is and then note or speak to it. 

Only then can I put it outside myself, though my expressions.

So when we become aware of ourselves or our higher selves and have this higher reality entering our minds and see so much more possible we can change our lives accordingly.

But what of all those relationships ? Ive taken a very slow approach to this because I inherently know theres value here that I can’t speak to or wasnt willing to.

Ive perpetuated thoughtstreams based on senses and feelings that are intuitive and instinctual based on reality and the truth of how im experiencing it.

To say im exploring my mind is honest. If thats as far as it goes its missing a lot of maturation but it is what it is, what comes next would be mindset, looking at the structure in it and then challenings big ideas, topics, thinking our way .

The hard part is doing that at the cost of your emotions, the limited world view or mindset will then naturally put us in situations and conversations and experiences that now test and reflect that which we have put or identify with. 

For me, its been difficult as I love the body, my physical body. Its naturally a strength for me, and the genetics tell a story of athleticism and farming and resilience.

Of action and activity in the world , between other humans and people and for gain and to feed mouths and have family and perpetuate life.

This is what i experience and always felt inside was a generative energy and and emotional contagion or prolific energy. Thats not the same as a prolific self but where im getting to now is the integration of that emotional natural capacity and amount that is expansive, into my mind. 

I need to own this stuff in order not to be taken by it and to take others by it.

It does have massive effect and impact, when constructed into a syntorpic and healthier worldview well its naturally going to express itself and il be rewarded individually and collectively in ways that are felt, intangible at times but also sensed. 

Material is part of what a artist or builder or creator use to build the art, building or physical world, but the other side of the coin to the elements / ingredients is the principles. We think about this stuff to make something, and in places made of things we have happengins, and then others can think about that or not. You dont get a lot of choice if you think about timesquare.

You may see that as choice rich, in someways it is. 

its expression of America and heavily marketed and contructed.

The heights and in your face is actually exciting and we get emotionally lifted and drawn toward the ideas of things and services others make.

Part of the world and our needs to exchange and share is found in that space, of the market. 

It plays a key role in sharing, and with so much progress in some areas of the physical world made by minds and sometimes hearts and hands. 

Not all people are incentivised to live in a naturally sharing world, in fact we have massive anti-forces that could be said to stem towards violence, and especially when unchecked or not allowed to express itself. 

Schooling in the west and i hear in China too, is intended to serve the purpose of education. The best quote i Know is that to Educate is to light a fire not fill a bucket up.

The mind is not the body, it is a body of thoughts but its not a body of chemicals, emotions, water, food. 

Some people dont need the amount of mind in every topic and area that has been built all day for 12 years. 

It doesnt make sense to the human or cultural development to force feed topics and make it look like its necessary. Its a failing model. 

It is, Gen Y in Australia where I come from, and am part of is the most educated generation, and also the poorest.

We are learning more but making less.

We are exploring our personal interest and heights of thinking , but without a place to exercise it once times up. 

The fiscal and financial cost for university puts youth in debt, so you enter the world after being groomed into a skill and knowledge and critical thinking which is valuable, but most I see have missed the point and purpose, they have not asked themselves questions they have gone along with what others are doing and what seems to be the best way.

That heirarchy of development dictated in school used to be something you had to really try to get into, some schools make sense. But education is not school, though, you do need to take on the teachers position in order to learn at the level of follow through and cause and effect.

You are a consumer and student to other people until you choose to take command and  control of your own education.

The thing that will serve your family and friendships will differ from person to persona and relationships have different needs.

But when you pour your life and time into building a mind , exercising your mental prowess can become a sink hole for your body and emotional experience. Higher emotions and senses are achieved and you build stairwells and structures and the mind okay and part of it all.

But how yo develop your mind , with whom you speak and with whom you listen to has affect.

So how do you do it and be healthy? Well you need to ask yourself questions and take that role on.

if yo went to school for many years you have higher and higher grades of questioning and thought, your quest is advanced. 

But if your primary needs and lower desires are not included , your body which is the vessel and vehicle for all this will degrade. You can put the brain on a pedestal but it does not operate or live alone. 

it speaks to the rest of the body. 

The mind then of course is not only in ones head or brain, you can say that but it doesnt mean in your physical head and physical brain, they are organs of a much larger happening.

So is it true to say that the thoughts we have are not ours? or are they? 

Its a fair question?

So if we can pick and choose then we can also remove and not entertain.

If we are experiencing hardship or mental illness and our thoughts are of darker nature all the time, way more than 50% even that much is very high, you can see how much of your thoughts are affecting your life negatively. 

So how do you use negative thought, or more powerfully and effective, how do You say no and set boundaries to those forces or experiences , situations that keep getting perpetuated , you have to become aware of that. You have to dare to see it.

Beware is to become aware of your fears , its a danger warning, they exist for a reason.

So if you are not warning others of your pain , or sharing your stuff you won’t be heard, and if you think that others won’t want to listen to You then your wrong, but many dont have the capacity, interest or will to listen through the stuff you need to process in order to hear you.

Its okay, we have immense power internally that needs to be gradually embraced. 

Ultimatum and Ultimate take overs will result in complete change. 

not always necessary. 

Really, but degrees matter. 

How can I say no to something i havent felt, connected with and experienced?

Well trust your inner body and deeper pure innocent self to say no.

Sometimes though say yes, even if theres risk.

Thats where the fun and games begin, and thats also where the greatest rewards and more suffering can be found.

Its hard when you feel like you can’t go this way or that way, you stay safe, at least what you believe is safe, or others have led you to believe. 

We all lead each other all the time, we are constantly doing it , saying yes when we mean no, out of fear of losing our safety that isnt actually that safe. 

Its a small safety built into a life that might not even be yours anymore.

Its a very difficult finding to come to, you can strip the bandaid off sometimes and learn to choose and leave and recover yourself and body.

A life lied that is not your own well then who’s its it?

Sometimes its not even a matter of being another one person, it might be systemic, or the network your in / group your let move you.

The powers that move around you well you can take on more and more , but also I believe and am finding now, as  I build new beliefs and worldview that is more inclusive of boundaries, values that are true and aligned to me, coordinating my life towards more signal but understanding noise even when its stressful still is others lives. 

Some people living their lives at highest fulfilment will cause others to experience hate and envy and feel hard things.

Its fuel. 

But we can shelter ourselves at certain junctures on this journey especially when our innocence is being maimed too much.

I dont believe that in the west or across the world in many developed nations and countries that we actually look after ourselves or each other as well as we could.

Of course we want to be proud of something, ourselves our families our lives our place of living , the place that keeps us safe or what we identify with.

This piece, if you go straight for it, identity, will cause massive change.

So the point is not to always be in it, but to face what can be found in your truer self, and seeing who you truly are, and all that potential you have within you.

Well its not enough to just point to it, because then what? .. Your aware of your potential. 

Some never get it pointed to so its a GREAT win and essential step to give it as much time as it needs to stabilise the fact you have incredible potential , each and every single one of us does.

What that turns into, is up to us once we realise and accept it exists. When we begin embracing our potential life is different, things are a little more lighter.

Its night and day for some but not everyone on the outside , and well most won’t be able to even perceive it. To see what you’re perceiving.

Why would you want them to anyway if they could accidentally or otherwise take away your new fresh life force and your ability to see for yourself.

Discernment then comes into play – 

At the beginning you need to nurture the new seeds, those inspirations come from seeing the world differently, your body and emotions and thoughts you are having need to be explored, but also protected. 

Some never need to see the arena of interperonsal relationships , really, not all we think and find and that inspires us needs to go anywhere other than being with us. 

Like a baby a seed and stem and healthy growth is going to happen in a more feminine environment, the earth , a mothers body , the fathers sperm and the progenitor principles and the intercourse in physical and soul sex happens to make a baby, naturally. 

Even with manual human intervention and genetic shifting etc a natural potential meets a natural potential and the intercourse is actions together, if you appreciate your person and privacy you want it to be away from the eyes of others. Other humans, thats entirely okay, in fact for most thats essential. 

Some cultures do celebrate and support the birthing process with their presence at a community level and varying degrees as Ive seen on films. But the hospital is a big building. 

its got multiple people in it, birthed, ill , dying at the same time. 

What a story. The Hospice is the dying area.

it an attempt to do all these things with the body these natural parts of us with highly leverage minds tools etc.

The point im trying to make is, some walls are too thin, some eyes do not seek to support you, some bodies and selves and minds are not here to help you grow.

Many and in this day and age many are ill, even those who tell you you are healthy or not have workings going on. If you outsource your mind and consent that is what you are doing.

You can get it back.

it will take as much effort . healing and clearing as you allowed experience in.

the traumas will be yours, but, they will include others input.

You have to take 100% at times, thats your sovereign ability to choose and discern ultimately.
If we set our lives up in a syntropic way we can add value to each other, but the level of thinking here is just as high as any intellectual endeavour, in fact without embodiment someones mental asssertations , may have no grounded reality in them. They are fluff.

They are thoughts, and we all have thoughts. 

Knowledge is when we know it, but if we can not apply that knowledge then it is self giving. 

its important to give to yourself.

Its also important to take away your self and time from others who do not have your best interests at heart.

its important to say no and create resistance to give yourself time to think in order to distinguish and discern what is actually good for you.

You can not do it all alone, but you need to be able to be alone to know yourself.

To know who we are asks your built self to admit into a greater narrative and happening.

The bigger the ego that protects us the bigger the happening.

The field behind it all is the same field, the environment is the same environment but when we have so many humans making egos that are pushing unknowns without including the other humans, basic life forms and are thinking their way through life, you get massive imbalance. You get more perpetuated war and issues are created not solved, if your creating an issue by solving something its sort of zero sum isnt it. 

It is you traded 1 of 1 . If you take more than is meant for you your greed or your darker side now perpetuates more darkness. Some people are not admitting their darkness to themselves but still are impacting everyone and everything they touch with it. Your niceties are actually unwholesome very limited extensions of a cultural issue that is minds stimulating the world around them but not actually meeting or addressing many of the needs we each have. You can misguide and mislead yourself and family by believing in a cause , that then is your responsibility to take ahold of . Or make a compromise, you have to admit darkness in you because your body is healthier when you do. 

Your not at a disadvantage in your family and local life if you give yourself that power to rest, and rejuvenate. Its just passivity , its how the body rebuilds. 

You will dry out one day in older age and the life will be different by stages and natural cycles. 

But how you face that , and from where, is a choice. 

You can build an ego and it can do things for you and if you include others say a few others in that, they will be held in your protection.

Thats essential, so the ego is essential for family and human health.

Exageration , and when its only you in the circle , well thats another thing. 

Personal gain is okay.

But if your worldview and ideology is skewed because you took it upon yourself to be the god or ultimate ruler, then you have work to do in order to make your sovereignty healthier and more syntropic so that you can see and let others ruling systems be present without needing to attack all the time. Its healthy evolutionary way to feel and be a tyrant, to be a misguided magician, you need to have those experiences but they can be learnt from with wisdom by actively listening to others.

You still have to integrate it all anyway , but let in more voices that you can trust , and if your this far your either a big reader, a explorer, a truth seeker, someone fed up with the bulsshit or your new and want to see my perspective and some of my opinions. Either way i hope you found immense value.

Thank you

Brendon / BRRD